


Happy Birthday to Me

by bboiseux



Series: Slip and Fall If I Take One More Step [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Doggy Style, F/F, F/M, Open Relationships, Pegging, Rough Sex, Woman on Top, safe sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-25 21:31:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21362986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bboiseux/pseuds/bboiseux
Summary: It's Vex's birthday and that means gifts!  But, this year, she’s asked her lovers to give her something extra special—something she's dreamed of, but never quite achieved: sex with each of them, all on the same day.  A story in which Vex fucks and is fucked and it's glorious.Reading Time:abt 18 mins
Relationships: Jarett Howarth/Vex'ahlia, Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia, Zahra Hydris/Vex'ahlia
Series: Slip and Fall If I Take One More Step [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/978684
Comments: 8
Kudos: 86





	Happy Birthday to Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flammablehat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flammablehat/gifts).

> A big thanks to [EllaPreuss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaPreuss) for being my beta! Everything right in this is because of her. Everything wrong is because of me ...

**Breakfast**

Vex stretched her arms wide and smiled. It was her birthday and her birthday meant gifts. But, this year, she’d asked her lovers to give her something extra special—something she had dreamed of, but never quite achieved: to have sex with each of them, all on the same day. So, as Vex rolled to her side, the sheets sliding across her bare skin, the bed felt delicious this morning. 

She and Percy had seen out her final day of thirty-three right. Just thinking about it made her hum out her pleasure, her fingers dancing between her legs. As Vex played, she looked lovingly at the sleeping form of Percy. The morning sun was just beginning to seep through the windows and it cast a warm, dull glow across his body—his hair a rumpled mess, his hand limp on his chest, his face calm and untroubled. Vex kissed his cheek and he didn’t stir.

Which was all for the best, thought Vex. Her fingers were already slick with her own juices and, well, there were better ways to wake up than cuddles or a gentle kiss.

Vex slipped her hands under the sheet and felt Percy’s inevitable morning wood. It had been a pleasant surprise in the early days of their relationship: Percy woke up ready for sex. So, Vex encouraged the excitement, brushing her thumb across the tip, tracing the slight curve of his stiffness with her fingers. His cock twitched and grew even stiffer, yet Percy slept through the whole experience.

He finally woke up as she finished unrolling the condom.

With squinting eyes, Percy looked down groggily and then, his brain catching up with his eyesight, a small smile spread across his face. “Well, good morning to you too, Ms. De Rolo.”

“You know how eager I am to open my birthday presents,” she cooed. She threw back the sheets with a wicked smile and straddled Percy, guiding his cock to the wetness of her cunt.

It was so satisfying to fill herself up with Percy, feel his ample cock stretch her wide. Hands braced on his chest, fingers tangled in his chest hair, Vex quietly groaned her satisfaction and licked her lips. Percy gripped her hips, his face adoring, and he began to thrust, but she stopped him with a finger to his lips and a few words (”No, darling. I want to do this myself”) and guided his hands to her breasts. As Percy’s calloused hands fondled her breasts, his fingers tugging and rolling her nipple, a murmur of approval slipped from Vex’s lips.

Vex moved slowly, exalting in the stiff slide of Percy’s cock, the mingling of their heat. Percy tried to control himself—a twitch of the hips as she ground against his pelvis, a sudden spasm of his hands on her breasts, tiny gasps as she pulled up and then shimmied down his length, a shudder between his lips as she flicked her hips forward. His enjoyment made the ache in her cunt and her stomach grow more urgent. Her chest flushed, her head went light, the rhythm of her hips erratic. With rapid jerks, she hastened her pace, Percy’s cock hard and hot. Vex put more of her weight on her arms and grunted as she twitched out her desire. The ache of her cunt grew greedy. The pulse of Percy’s cock was exactly what it wanted. The movements of her hips got smaller and smaller, tighter, more focused, as she beat out her desire again and again and again. Vex leaned over Percy, her face tight with concentration, all her efforts on drawing out—

The fluttering caught fire and the heat spread through her stomach and thighs and shot up her spine to the base of her skull and Vex moaned and collapsed on Percy, kissing his face and murmuring “Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me.” Percy was happy to comply. He gripped her ass and pounded into her. The slick slide of his cock amplified the pulse in her pelvis and Vex moaned into Percy’s mouth as he gasped out his own pleasure. Their energy erratic, their hands clutching at each other’s bodies, the two of them grinding earnestly against one other, it wasn’t long before Percy groaned and Vex felt the deep twitch of his cock. He jerked, shallow and messy, pinning Vex tight against his chest, and Vex rocked back and forth sighing at Percy’s touch.

They lay together, Vex on top, their bodies sweaty and warm, kissing each other lovingly. Finally, Vex rolled to the side, Percy’s cock flopping out of her cunt. She glowed with satisfaction, her fingers playfully grazing his chest hair. “Thank you, Mr. De Rolo.”

**Lunch**

Jarett was a talented man who enjoyed having his talent appreciated. And, once Vex had found a condom without a nasty taste, she had been more than happy to show her appreciation on a regular basis. Which was why she was in her office, on her lunch break, in a tight A-line skirt that she would normally never wear to work, her fresh white blouse open to reveal a lacey blue bra, on her knees giving Jarett a healthy dose of appreciation. In this case, that involved a sloppy wet sucking noise and good breath control. Watching Jarett pinned against the wall trying to stifle his cries, Vex was glad that she hadn’t worn panties this morning. They would have been completely useless by now.

With one last hearty suck (Jarett groaned in agony), Vex stood up. Together they tumbled across the room, their hands and mouths feeding their appetites for each other’s bodies. Vex knew exactly what she wanted from Jarett—she’d even cleared the desk for the experience.

As Jarett kissed down her neck, Vex pushed him away. “I want you to bend me over this desk and fuck me as hard as you can.” She hiked up her skirt as she turned. Jarett’s eyes traced the contours of her ass, her thighs, resting on the pink bloom between her legs. Vex licked her lips and winked at him over her shoulder. “Anytime you’re ready, lover.”

The lovely thing about Jarett was that he knew how to use his cock. Sometimes you got men with an impressive cock and they thought just shoving it in there was enough to get you off. Not Jarett. Her hands planted on the desk, Jarett pumped into her at a steady pace, his hands firm on her hips. Vex sent her ass back to meet his thrusts, thrilling (and moaning) at the hard slap of thigh against thigh, his balls against her cunt. He stoked a fire deep in her groin, adding fuel with every perfectly angled thrust. Every slide of his hands across her breasts, her back, her ass teased out a moan, a whimper, a sigh.

Vex drew a ragged breath and shook her head in frustration. Jarett was (she knew from experience) being willfully teasing. Which, on most days, was exactly what she was looking for: ecstasy stretched to the breaking point. But now, at this moment, she didn’t want a gourmet meal. She wanted fast food. Preferably the kind that left you feeling filthy afterwards.

Jarett was _quite_ dexterous, but he also had the strength when it was called for. By the time they had been going for five minutes, Vex was calling for it. She went down on her forearms and looked back at Jarett. “Fuck me into the ground or find someone else to get you off.”

Jarett smiled that gleaming roguish smile that had saved his life so many times (made less impressive at this moment by his half-closed eyes and the grunting moans he made between words). “Far be it for me … to deny a pretty lady her … birthday request. Especially … when she is so persuasive.”

Before he was done speaking, Jarett slid his hands to Vex’s back and pushed her flat against the desk where she squirmed and twitched under his weight, his thrusts becoming more intense, wilder, deeper. A thrill stabbed up Vex’s spine and she groaned, the first shudders of heat beginning to tremble through her thighs and belly. Jarett was almost painfully deep now, moving with short, quick thrusts that left Vex no time to breathe, her hands grasping for the edges of the desk. One of his hands slid to the back of her head, held her against the desktop. Vex groaned, her hot breath fogging the smooth wood, little puffs of pleasure bursting from her lips in time with Jarett’s rhythm.

The muscular pulse of Jarett’s body against hers, the sloppy sound of his cock pumping in and out, the rough press of his hands on her back and head, the erratic grunts … and then Jarett was bucking wildly inside her and he seemed so much harder, so much hotter. His hands bore down on her with a guttural moan and his cock twitched out a beat that turned into a throb that swelled through Vex’s body. She clawed at the desk and moaned hot cries and her legs went weak and her vision white as Jarett collapsed on her back, crushing the air out of her lungs, still spasming shallow thrusts into her hungry heat.

As she caught her breath, Vex bit her lip and reached back to run her hand along Jarett’s side. He kissed along her back before pushing up. Vex whimpered at the absence of his heat and rolled, ragdoll like, onto her back, watched Jarett roll the condom off his cock (she noted with glee that it still twitched its pleasure), ran her eyes over his well-toned body.

“Mmmm, I need to put my lips on something,” she said, a sly smile on her face.

Jarett got another condom.

**Coffee Break**

Keyleth would have killed her if Vex let a birthday go by without seeing her, so they met up at a local café not too far from Vex’s office. The conversation was light and pleasant, the coffee heavy and sharp. Keyleth had dressed up for the occasion: an uncharacteristically short skirt that showed off yards of toned leg; ruby red lipstick that made Keyleth’s mouth hypnotic; and, most uncharacteristically of all, a t-shirt cut into a v-neck that showed the little cleavage Keyleth could manage. Given that Vex had also asked Keyleth not to get her anything for her birthday, Vex wondered if this was her present. She had to admit that she enjoyed the view, even if Keyleth was off-limits. They were just friends and getting entangled in that web of relationships would be too much, even for Vex. So, in return, Vex refrained from making Keyleth turn pink with a suggestive comment.

**Dinner**

Zahra and Vex had a pattern: dinner and conversation, followed by sex, then more conversation, this time snuggled in bed. Apparently, for her birthday, this pattern wasn’t going to hold. Oh, the dinner was delicious (Kash always left an excellent meal prepared—Zahra was incapable of cooking) and the wine was marvelous (a soft, full-bodied red that sat heavy in the back of Vex’s mouth), but, well, Vex hardly considered what Zahra was doing conversation. Conversation didn’t get you this wet. Conversation didn’t make you squirm in your seat. Conversation didn’t make you want to touch yourself before your dinner was even done. But then Zahra always did have an exquisite touch for salacious detail.

Two hours later they finally made it to the bedroom, Zahra between Vex’s legs for the sixth time.

Vex kept a hand lightly on Zahra’s head, her other playing unconsciously with her nipple. At this point she could do nothing but lay back, eyes closed, licking her lips. Right now, Zahra’s two fingers worked in and out in a slow rhythm, her luscious tongue doing broad laps around Vex’s cunt. Each touch sent Vex’s insides fluttering. It was like she could feel Zahra in every inch of her body. Where Vex played with her nipple, it was like Zahra’s mouth was there. Where her one leg hung lazily in the air, her foot brushing the middle of Zahra’s back, she could feel the pulse of Zahra’s fingers. Where her own tongue stroked her lips, it was Zahra’s tongue lapping up every taste of Vex.

“Gods, Zahra,” whimpered Vex, her voice as breathy and light as her head.

Vex couldn’t see Zahra looking up the length of her body, her eyes smiling sinfully at the little twitches and jerks of Vex’s body. She pulled back with a kiss on Vex’s clit, her fingers left alone to do their work. “My poor Vex,” came her sultry voice that was so naturally dirty. “Let mama take care of that for you.”

Vex gasped and Zahra’s free hand pinned her thrusting hips in place as she began to suck and tease at the pink pearl of Vex’s clit. Vex’s body hummed with Zahra’s touch. Her fingers stretched and teased and made ripples where before there were only still waters. The caress of her tongue, the massage of her lips, caught the twitching remnants of Vex’s last orgasm and set the waves cresting again, breakers crashing in Vex’s gut triggering a fluttering that coursed through her chest and her limbs, vibrating into her thighs until they trembled and jerked around Zahra’s head. Little bursts of incoherent breath poured from Vex’s open lips as the fingers of one hand danced across her slick lips, before she buried her face in her hands, muffling the ecstatic moans rolling from her tongue, her body twisting and shuddering in Zahra’s capable hands.

A minute later, Zahra having tortured Vex with the occasional lick and grin before settling into tender kisses across Vex’s thighs and abs, Vex lay with a heaving, flushed chest. She laughed and grabbed absentmindedly at Zahra’s head, begging without words for Zahra’s lips. Zahra smiled at her and crawled up Vex’s body, leaving kisses in her wake, until she wrapped her powerful arms around Vex’s head and pulled her into a tight, lusty kiss.

“How’s your appetite?” said Zahra as she pulled back.

Vex reached down and squeezed Zahra’s ass. “I’m absolutely famished, darling.”

Zahra smiled a wicked grin. “I was hoping you’d said that.”

**Midnight Snack**

When Vex finally dragged herself home, she wasn’t surprised to find Percy at work, hunched over his drafting table. She draped her arms around his shoulders and gave him a squeeze and a peck on the cheek and he turned from the new design to return the kiss.

“Did you have a good birthday?”

Vex nuzzled into his cheek. “The best, thank you.” She yawned and started towards the bedroom to change, but stopped when she saw a small, brown paper package sitting conspicuously on the couch.

His attention back on the project, his eyes seemingly nowhere but the drafting table, Percy smiled. “I got you a small present.”

Vex clucked her tongue as she picked the gift up and gave Percy an exaggerated frown. “Percy dear, I said no presents this year.”

“If memory serves me correctly, you said no _birthday_ presents. It is past midnight and, so, no longer your birthday.”

Vex ran her fingers over the package and arched an eyebrow. “You’re terrible, darling.” But she quickly slid a finger under a fold and teased the paper off, tossing it to the side, and fumbled with the top of the box. When she saw what was inside, Vex laughed. She pulled out the beautiful blue dildo. It was a perfect fit for her harness. “Small?” she said with relish.

“Ah, yes, I thought it was time to graduate.”

He still hadn’t turned to look at her, but Vex was eyeing him up and down, biting at her lip. It was just like Percy. He knew that she’d be quite sore by this point in the day—night—but he’d found a way for her to finish her birthday with a bang.

A passionate five minutes later, their clothes scattered across the floor, their bodies grinding at each other, their hands and lips fighting for any connection, Vex broke away and grabbed her harness and quickly pulled the straps tight, fitting the new dildo in the metal hoop. Thankfully, Percy had had the foresight to take care of the prep before Vex got home, so they could get right to business. On the bed, on his hands and knees, Vex got the dental dam in place and threw herself into her meal. She hungrily lapped at Percy’s asshole, lavishing her praise between mouthfuls, sneaking her free hand around to tease at his cock, until the frantic nature of Percy’s muffled groans (his head almost buried in the mattress) told Vex that he was ready for her.

They’d done this enough that she didn’t need to start with her fingers, just use enough lube and take her time. She rolled the condom down the dildo (it really was starting to be a tight fit!) and then applied a generous helping of lube, massaging the excess across Percy’s asshole to his toe-curling appreciation.

“Ready, darling?” asked Vex with a kiss on his back.

Vex knelt on the bed and, with his assent given, teased Percy with the head of the dildo. He leaned back into it with a soft grunt, his back muscles flexing. While there was much to be said for doing this face-to-face, Vex rather enjoyed getting the full view of Percy’s back and ass flexing and squirming as she had her way with him. And Percy must agree because he always had his best orgasms on his knees. Just the thought of it made Vex’s insides flutter and she hadn’t even started yet.

It took some time for Percy to take the whole thing. Vex gave a little at a time, rolling the head against his asshole, slipping slowly inside and pulling out a little—testing, teasing. Percy was delightful. He whined and whimpered as she went, his hands gripping at the bedsheets, his cheek pressed firm to the bed, his eyes closed, his mouth hanging open. The deeper Vex got, the more insistent his whines. By the time she had most of the dildo inside him, he was squirming at her every touch.

Vex ran her hands along his back and sighed happily at his reaction. “Darling,” she said softly, “would you like me to stretch you out or just go for the prostate?” Her hands danced down his back and ass and thighs.

Percy kept it short and sweet: “Prostate please,” he whimpered.

“As you wish, dear.”

Vex knew just how to move these days: the angle, the pressure, the rhythm. In fact, she had become such an expert that it wasn’t long before Percy’s whines turned into moans and his body twitched and jerked into Vex’s strap on. Vex held his hips tight and ground down, making him take her as deep as possible, her fingers leaving vivid marks on his skin as he tried to wiggle free. Percy positively squealed and his body jerked and shuddered. There was this certain twitching that took over his body when he came and Vex could feel the vibrations of his muscles in her hands as his whole body clenched and released again and again. He groaned (long and satisfying to Vex’s ears), coming thin and messy once, then twice, then (it must have been a _very _good night) a third time, until he dropped to his forearms, breath heavy, muscles heaving.

Vex held him steady until she was sure he’d begun to come down and then slowly pulled out. Percy collapsed on his side, his skin gleaming and flushed, his breathing heavy.

Vex tore off the harness and wrapped her arms around Percy’s still quivering form. The man had orgasms to die for. She kissed him gently on the forehead, petting his hair, whispering loving words into his ear, until the tremors in his muscles died down and his body relaxed with a sigh. He immediately reached up and pulled her into a deep kiss. Vex let her fingers play along his side.

When they finally broke apart, Vex propped herself up on some pillows. “I recall promising you some quality time with my tits, unless I’m mistaken.”

Percy chuckled and began to kiss his way up her body. As his exquisitely talented mouth began its work, Vex smiled a happy contented sigh.

_Happy birthday to me._

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little "feel better" gift for [flammablehat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flammablehat)! And, maybe, a little prep for writing an entire smut series ;)
> 
> So, what did you think? If I'm being honest, my main points here are that Vex has an oral fixation and Percy loves taking it. But we all knew that, right? I love comments and talking to all of you, so feel free to leave your thoughts! Even key smashes and extra kudos (<3) are cherished! (And if you want to comment, but don't want a response, just add *whisper* to your comment) Love to all of you! :)


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